cor1n:

A+ relationship: Playing video games together, rough sex, pizza and awful humor that only you two can laugh at. 

(Source: r1sque)

114,189 notes

Lust is Saturday night; love is Sunday morning.

Kid in my lit class

Simple yet very true.

(via melodiousgeekery)

311,689 notes

trainjuice:

Cat privilege is being able to lie around the house all day and no one asking you “when are you going to get a job?” or “is everything ok?”.

83,342 notes

unfriendlyasiangirl:

*accidentally bumps into you* oops sorry *accidentally holds your hand* oh silly me so sorry *accidentally slips a ring onto your finger* my bad *accidentally marries you* oh how clumsy of me

156,839 notes

stereofeathers:

stereofeathers:

stereofeathers:

FUCK I FORGOT THAT THE BIRD STORE I WORK AT HAS ONE BABY BIRD THAT LIKES TO SLEEP IN PEOPLES POCKETS IM HOME AND SOMETHING IS MOVING IN MY POCKET OH FUCK

YEAH ITS THE BIRD I JUST ACCIDENTALLY STOLE A BIRD

 MY BOSS JUST GAVE ME THE MOST STERN LOOK OF DISAPPROVAL BEFORE HE STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD HE HAD TO GRAB THE EDGE OF A TABLE

163,079 notes